Anorak News | Crumbling Cliff Face

Crumbling Cliff Face

by | 27th, August 2003

‘HAS Tony Blair become the new Saddam Hussein?

‘Fancy meeting you in the woods, Dr Kelly’

We ask this in a figurative rather than a literal sense, since Tony is no Moslem but a sandal-wearing Christian of high morals and low-slung white socks.

What we mean is has Tony taken a leaf from the Saddam Hussein book of survival and cloned others to look like him?

Suspicions that he has are found in today’s Express where Cliff Richard has admitted that he has used cosmetic surgery.

“Because of this Peter Pan of Pop title, I have had to live up to something that nobody can actually get…If I wasn’t a celebrity, I wouldn’t care about how much things dropped or drooped,” say Cliff.

Only he is and he does care – he cares deeply. And so the Mail has a few shots of what purports to be Cliff changing through the ages.

In 1966, Cliff was your average Bachelor Boy, all teeth and raw magnetic talent. In 1999, now Sir cliff was worried about the lines on his forehead and reached for the Botox.

And in 2002, Cliff has the kind of skin that would not be out of place on Peter Pan’s pert backside, but his eyebrows are beginning to droop.

But to our main point: is this Sir Cliff or something else entirely? Is Cliff Richard the new Tony Blair, and vice versa?

Over in the Mirror, Barry Manilow has been seen after his own dabble with cosmetic surgery, leaving the clinic wearing what is believed to be a blonde wig and a baseball cap.

The paper wonders what’s beneath the bandages, mocking up shots of Manilow with a Jimmy Hill-style chin, Leslie Ash lips, goofy teeth and ears a rutting elephant would be proud to call his own.

But could there be something more hideous under the miles of crepe? Tony always wanted to be a musician and having failed in that dream maybe he’s turning the kings of pop into him?

As Tony the Moslem would say: if a hit album won’t come to Tony, Tony must go to the hit album…’

Posted: 27th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink