Stella Vision

‘FROM two thousand feet up the small party of coloured dots and dimples assembled outside the entrance to Mound Stuart House, Scotland, could be there as part of a fire drill.

As seen from space

One other explanation is that what we see through OK!’s satellite lens is the guests massing for the wedding of Stella McCartney to Alasdhair Willis.

So let’s listen in.

Thanks to the space race, the war against terror and the wonder of ears, we can at least hear what’s going on at ground level, even if we have no clear view.

A small man with what sounds like a clipboard is making himself heard. “Right, listen up. I’ll call out your name and you say if you are here or if you are not. Got it. Ok!…”

“Kate Moss? “Yep!” Liv Tyler? “Yessiree! “Madonna?” “F**k orf.” Guy Richie? “Duck-‘n’-dive-bob-‘n’-weave-luverly-jubberly-whatsinitferme-Whowantstonah?”

“Chris Martin?” “I think the war in Iraq is so unright-on…” “A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’, thank you, Mr Martin. Paul McCartney?” “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” Heather McCatrtney-Mills-McCartney. “That tart had best keep it shut or else I’ll stick her false leg right up…”

“So that’s a ‘yes’ for Heather, and a ‘yes’ for the lovely bride Stella as well.”

So there you are. It was indeed the 2003 annual Celebrity Fire Drill. Look out for the show of the event on Channel 4.’

Posted: 8th, September 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink