Anorak News | Billy Bob’s Yer Uncle

Billy Bob’s Yer Uncle

by | 19th, September 2003

‘WANT to live in the lap of luxury or at least wiggle your arse in it? Then you should do as many girls have done and learn to lap dance.

Bum face

It’s the fast track route to meeting the Hollywood star of your dreams. Sure he’s a sleazebag who pays to watch girls get naked, unable to trust that his native charm and looks will get him a date. But look at that bulge in his pants – that wallet is bursting with cash!

His wallet also contains a picture of one of his ex-wives or someone else’s (see Ben Affleck). But worry less about that and check out the other pocket, the one containing the keys to his condo in Miami, his lodge in Vermont and that magnificent neo-Georgian pile in Beverly Hills.

The latest star with a paid-for rump in his lap is super cool Billy Bob Thornton. Billy’s knocking on a bit these days, but being caressed and groped by the hands that once touched Angelina Jolie is a wonderful thing.

The 48-year-old is seen in this week’s Enquirer getting into the bum-crack groove at the Yellow Rose nightclub in Austin.

Billy – he’s the one disguised as a lecherous old man – is seen swapping saliva with two entertainers and posing for a photograph with many more, one of whose trousers he’s hilariously pulled down.

Billy really is a wag. And if you don’t die laughing from his antics, you’ll get to live in the knowledge that you once rubbed your arse on the crotch of a genuine heartthrob.’

Posted: 19th, September 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink