Anorak News | For Pete’s Sake

For Pete’s Sake

by | 22nd, September 2003

‘PETER Barlow is discovering that having two women at once is the stuff of nightmares rather than of fantasies.

It’s got Roy’s cardigan

The trouble started when Lucy (number one wife) came looking for Peter, determined to give their marriage another chance. She bumped into Jack Duckworth in the street and asked if he knew where Peter Barlow lived. “Over there, in The Rovers with his wife,” Jack replied.

Lucy stormed into the pub and pulled out a wedding photo. “Seems like we’re married to the same bloke, luv,” Lucy snarled at Shelly. Being very much like a faithful Labrador (in looks and mental ability) Shelly refused to believe it at first.

“Yer lyin’,” she screamed at Lucy, “not my Peter.” When confronted with baby Simon and her wedding certificate, even Shelly had to admit that ‘her Peter’ was living the Mormon dream in the heart of Weatherfield.

Lucy and Shelly have decided to pair up and prove the old adage that hell hath no fury. They’ve reported their Peter to the police and are now intent on driving him out of business by picketing the bookies. Indeed, the sight of those two harpies would be enough to send any bloke running for the hills.

Peter has holed up in Ken and Deirdre’s house while they’re away visiting Blanche. Ken and Deirdre will be delighted to discover that not only do they have a bigamist son but also a dating-rapist daughter now living under their roof. Tracy has returned from her Caribbean holiday (courtesy of Roy and Hayley), still pregnant and still as much of a witch as ever.

She reluctantly agreed to let Roy accompany her to her first scan and even sold him a copy of the scan for fifty quid. Roy’s sought legal advice about protecting ‘his’ baby only to be told that a father-to-be has even less rights than a Camp X Ray inmate.

He’s been informed that the only way he can ensure his position is to marry Tracy. But after Peter’s experience, is it any wonder Roy’s less than keen on having two wives?

Another minx who needs a good slap is Maz. She’s driven off to the sunset (and hopefully to some acting lessons), leaving Jack Duckworth on charges of growing cannabis on his allotment.

“He’ll only get a fine,” reassured Maz to a shocked Tyrone. Indeed, as anyone who watched ‘Eastenders’ recently can testify, that’s exactly what Derek got in exactly the same storyline.’

Posted: 22nd, September 2003 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink