Britney Threesome Shock

‘LET this be a warning to all you Anorak readers who are thinking that a bit of plastic surgery could be the answer to your troubles.

Elle limbers up for her bout with Jack Nicholson

Dreadful mistakes can happen – you might get Barry Manilow’s cast-off nose sewn above Leslie Ash’s trout-pout lips, Jimmy Hill’s chin and Prince Charles’ ears or, worse still, an early prototype of Demi Moore.

As if to illustrate this very point, the National Enquirer this week reveals that the very same thing can happen even to the best put-together magazine.

And with shocking results.

‘Britney & Brad Begs Jen To Sex It Up’ is the (albeit ungrammatical) headline across the top of Pages 20 and 21.

Now, we know that Britney is trying very hard to put her virginal past behind her by snogging women old enough to be her mother, but this raises a few questions.

What, for instance, is she doing with Brad? Why are the two of them asking Jen to sex it up? And what, pray, do they want sexed up?

A short Hutton inquiry later, we can report that – alas! – no scandal exists.

The dodgy dossier in this case is the Enquirer itself, which has mistakenly elided two stories – one about Britney Spears’ closeness to a hunky (but married) choreographer, the other about Brad Pitt wanting his wife to take more trouble about her appearance.

It’s a trick we can use on the rest of the magazine, providing such intriguing headlines as ‘Elle McPherson Hits Jack Nicholson’, ‘Lisa Marie Battles Broadway Babs’ and ‘Secret Bare Past Of Kirk Douglas’.

Not to mention ‘Paris Hilton & Tara Reid Get Wild & Wasted’…’

Posted: 13th, October 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink