Anorak News | Hell’s Angels

Hell’s Angels

by | 15th, October 2003

‘GOD, as we well know, moves in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.

Beyonce shows off the benefits of The Good Sex Diet

Thus, he is quite happy for Beyonce Knowles to shake her booty on stage in a pair of orange hot pants, but he’s not so thrilled by Madonna sticking her tongue down Britney’s throat.

Who says? Why, Beyonce herself of course, in conversation with the Sun’s showbiz editor Victoria Newton.

“I honestly believe He wants people to celebrate their bodies as long as you don’t compromise your Christianity in the process,” she says.

But where does that leave Madonna and Britney, Madonna and Christina, Pink and Kristanna, Lucy and Nicola and all the other Sapphic show-offs?

In a place of wailing and gnashing of teeth, no doubt – and we’re not talking about the Priory.

And there they are soon to be joined by Michelle Ryan and Brooke Kinsella, otherwise known as EastEnders Zoe Slater and Kelly Taylor.

The Sun says the two will end up in each other’s arms after a drunken night out as BBC producers try to spice up the soap’s Christmas ratings.

And where also does this leave the celebrities who have been following Martine McCutcheon’s lead and practising The Good Sex Diet?

“The secret to a slimline figure is not cutting out carbs or saying no to chocolate,” says the Mirror, “it’s indulging in plenty of sex.”

And to prove its point, the paper today publishes before-and-after pictures of six celebs who it suspects have been shagging themselves thin.

Of course, it helps in the case of Demi Moore, for instance, that she has bought herself a new $400,000 body, but the one thing the randy half-dozen all have in common is that they lost weight after starting a new relationship.

So come on up and collect your The Good Sex Diet awards, Myleene Klass, Melanie C, Drew Barrymore, Demi Moore, Kate Winslet and, er, Beyonce Knowles.’

Posted: 15th, October 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink