Off Massage

‘IS the Mail proud to be British? We only ask because, unlike the Express, it doesn’t boast of the fact on its masthead.

‘Today, children, we’re going to learn Astanga yoga’

And unlike the Express it makes no mention of the EU plot to give London’s stations and squares names that are more acceptable to our friends on the other side of the Channel.

However, maybe the paper that may or may not be proud to be British is in such a lather of righteous indignation this morning that it clean forgot to wave its Union Jack.

For a start, there are thousands of parents to terrify with the news that seals on baby food jars may be contaminated by a cancer-causing toxin.

Then, there are other women to frighten with the news that thousands of women are being denied a vital drug in the fight against breast cancer ‘in a new postcode lottery scandal’.

And of course we are all left shaking our heads when we read about how five-year-old pupils at Treverbyn Community Primary have been taught to give each other relaxing head massages before morning class.

‘A typical session involves children pairing up and carrying out back, shoulder, neck and head massages over their school sweatshirts before swapping over,’ says the Mail.

‘But what are the chances of them being able to spell it?’ it asks.

Come on. As every five-year-old knows, the answer is I-T.’

Posted: 16th, October 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink