Anorak News | The Fat Of The Land

The Fat Of The Land

by | 17th, October 2003

‘ANYONE who has ever deep-fried a Mars bar will know that fat floats.

‘Last one there’s an American’

For this reason we are surprised to note, as the Times does, that obesity has a detrimental affect on a sperm’s ability to swim.

From Johnny Weissmuller to Mark Spitz and Flipper, America has produced many of the world’s most famous swimmers.

But things are changing for the worst and the Times has noticed a link between the widening of the average American’s girth and the lack of swimming potency.

Reproductive Biology Associates, a fertility clinic in Atlanta, has found that the man’s weight is a major factor in a couple’s inability to have children.

Charles Darwin would doubtless have had a field day with this research, and have penned a letter to the Times in which he’d have waxed lyrical about natural selection and the survival of the fittest.

The research might also say something about the British countryman, and why, as the Guardian reports, single women are deserting the countryside in favour of what it terms “sex in the city”.

Evidence of this migration is most acute in Richmond, North Yorkshire, where there are now 53% more single men than single women, making it either the best place for a woman to find a mate or a Mecca for obese American homosexuals.’

Posted: 17th, October 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink