Anorak News | Wrong Said Fred

Wrong Said Fred

by | 17th, October 2003

‘CAN someone please explain to us what is the attraction of Limp Bizkit singer Fred Durst? No, more to the point, can someone please explain what is the point of Fred Durst?

A little man making lots of noise

Most other pests serve some kind of purpose – pollinating plants or eating other pests or providing a hobby for serial killers.

But what of Durst? No-one, as far as we know, collects him. In fact, you are more likely to find posters of Osama Bin Laden in the average American home than one of his records.

He performs no vital role in any food chain, either nature’s food chain or one of the many food chains that exist to ensure America retains its position as the fattest nation on earth.

And as for pollination, well, it is not for nothing that the female part of the pistil is called a stigma because no-one into whom Durst has dunked his limp bizkit is willing to admit to it.

The National Enquirer, which gleefully reports that Durst “is limping through a concert schedule as critics savage his new album”, says he is still banging on about his supposed sexual encounter with Britney Spears.

He “bored the crowd,” it says, “with his tired rap about how he ‘did’ her…and how she’s ‘a little bitch’ for denying a relationship…blah, blah!

“The audience booed – so Durst twanged his guitar and announced: ‘I dedicate this song to Miss Britney Fucking Spears!’

“Infuriated by his asinine behaviour, the crowd flung water bottles, liquor bottles, trash and hot dogs at the stunned rocker!

“Durst ducked the barrage, then turned tail and scurried offstage.”

Later on in the magazine, the Enquirer quotes a London newspaper as saying that Durst has a new woman in his life – Halle Berry.

The evidence for this appears to be nothing more substantial than the fact that Berry, newly separated from husband Eric Benet, appears in the latest Limp Bizkit video.

Durst is doing his best to hint that the rumours are true. Berry, unsurprisingly, is saying nothing.’

Posted: 17th, October 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink