Anorak News | The Kennel Club

The Kennel Club

by | 24th, October 2003

‘THE Princess Diana whodunit is turning into something of a whodunher this morning as the Sun reveals that she had nine men on the go at one time.

The shocking truth about Diana’s Number 1

According to Paul Burrell, nine suitors were in active pursuit of his boss after her divorce from Charles. (How many were after her during her marriage or indeed caught her is something of a moot point).

In an interview for American TV, the florist said that Diana ran her men like a kennel.

“She controlled the position of her gentlemen friends,” says Burrell. “We called it the trap system as if the men were competitors on a racetrack.”

And the dog in trap one, hugging Diana’s inside bend, was her favourite man, who maintained his position amid some frenzied competition.

But who was, or is, he? The Mirror chooses to illustrate the story by way of silhouettes of the nine runners or riders.

And we wonder if there are clues in these black shapes? For instance, number one, “The Favourite” (let’s call him Harry’s Flyer), has hair in the same shape as James Hewitt.

And the “The Sporting Legend”, who occupies trap number three (and let’s call him Bum Face Boy), could just be England’s former rugby captain Will Carling.

Of course, the Mirror might be having a laugh at our expense, using these shadowy figures to throw us off the hare’s scent and saving the announcement of the true identities for the weeks to come.

Or it could just be that the “The Leading Musician” is Elton ”Pocket Rocket Man” John.

At least “The Famous Politician” (Jeffrey “Shepherd’s Lie” Archer) will tell us the truth.’

Posted: 24th, October 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink