Anorak News | Not The Bee’s Knees

Not The Bee’s Knees

by | 24th, October 2003

‘WHILE women dash out to have Ulrika implants sewn inside their stomachs (just as they had Jennifer Lopez buttock replacement therapy to make them look like a Renault Megane in trousers), they should consider Demi Moore.

Demi plans to turn her old knees into novelty ashtrays

After the Mail’s chatter about Ulrika, the paper turns its attention to the Hollywood actress and most particularly her knees.

Nora Batty once told Compo that her tights were not sagging, just her legs – and the Mail zooms in on Demi’s pins and sees a certain amount of skin ride.

The verdict is that having spent a fortune on cosmetic surgery to make her body as taught as a snare drum, Demi foolishly forgot to see to her knees.

The paper uses words like ”sagging”, “floppy” and “drooping” to describe the offending articles, which, like Cliff Richard’s neck, give away the owner’s true age.

The remedy is not all that simple – indeed, it will require immediate and perhaps even painful surgery, especially for the knee donor, a small Albanian boy called Wayne.

Well, he says he always dreamed of going to America…’

Posted: 24th, October 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink