Good Morning, Mr Johnson

‘IF you’re a jobless teenager on a Cardiff housing estate, you have two real options – either you can work your bollocks off for next to nothing as part of the Government’s New Deal or you can go out with Charlotte Church.

The similarity between Steven and Kyle was startling

Okay, she might be a bit porky, but she’s not in Pop Idol winner Michelle McManus’s class – and she’s a lot, lot richer. All in all, a far better prospect than scrubbing toilets or emptying Poop-Scoop bins.

So, just about a week after she vowed never to go near men again after ditching 19-year-old Steven Johnson for cheating on her, Charlotte is going out with unemployed 18-year-old Kyle Johnson.

”The lads are no relation to each other,” explains the Express, ”although they have the same surname and come from tough Cardiff neighbourhoods.”

And – of course – Charlotte’s mother Maria is delighted finally to have got rid of one bit of rough only to see him replaced by an almost identical version.

”They would really like Charlotte to have a break from boys,” a family friend tells the Express.

”They think she should get on with her career and hang out with her girlfriends for a while.”

Friends say Kyle is more Charlotte’s type, although, as her type seems to require you only to be Welsh, unemployed and the kind of person your mum wouldn’t want you to go out with, he’s not exactly alone in that category.

”If mum thought she had problems when her daughter was seeing Steven,” one of Kyle’s friends tells the Star, ”it’s nothing compared with what could happen now.

”She will have her hands full.”

And so, judging by recent pictures of Charlotte, will Kyle.’

Posted: 22nd, December 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink