Anorak News | New Labour, New Tarmac

New Labour, New Tarmac

by | 5th, January 2004

‘EFFORTS to ban fox hunting have repeatedly foundered against a Barbour-clad wall of opposition from groups such as the Countryside Alliance.

Welcome To Somerset

Every time the issue comes to a vote, hereditary peers, who haven’t been to London since the Coronation (of George V) leave their country seats for the day and pile into the House of Lords to thwart the will of Tony Blair and his shiny-suited cronies.

But still the Government refuses to give up – and, resourceful to the last, comes up with a new strategy to protect the fox and dump on the country bumpkins who chase him.

”Labour Plans To Build On Countryside,” leads this morning’s Times by way of introduction to news that local councils are going to lose their powers to block building on greenfield sites.

The paper says John Prescott plans to target the Nimby (Not In My Back Yard) mentality of shire councils who can halt development by designating an area worthy of conservation.

He wants to create more industrial jobs in the countryside and also turn disused agricultural buildings into new homes in a move described by rural campaigners as ”a pox on the countryside”.

If they think that’s a pox on the countryside, they should see Labour’s long-term rural policy (a copy of which mysteriously found its way to the Anorak offices over the festive season).

Among the plans scheduled for after the next election are to tarmac over Somerset and turn it into a giant car-park; to turn Devon and Cornwall into a giant rural theme park, known as The Countryside Experience, accessible on payment of a £14 entry fee and via a park and ride service operated from Somerset; to fence off Kent and turn it into a holding bay for asylum seekers; to drill for oil under the Lake District, Peak District and Yorkshire Dales; and to ease traffic congestion by widening the M1 to 22 lanes each way.

As a happy by-product of these plans, by 2010 there will be no countryside left, ergo no country bumpkins to spend their days chasing after foxes and therefore a happy Reynard wandering contentedly from bin to bin with his urban friends in search of his next meal…’

Posted: 5th, January 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink