Anorak News | Guts & Garters

Guts & Garters

by | 7th, January 2004

‘ALL the talk about the death of Princess Diana seems to centre on the belief that she should have died in some more dramatic and, dare it be said, romantic way.

Was the Fiat Uno driver actually Henry VIII?

A car accident is just so ordinary.

Perhaps if she’d have stepped on a landmine or been trampled by the crowd in the opening day of the Harvey Nichols sale, there would have been no need for conspiracy theorists to peddle their wares.

Indeed, years ago a royal like Di would have been lucky to have escaped the chopping block.

Or, indeed, something more infectious, noxious and altogether unpleasant, say a worm that ate her from the inside out or a virus that caused boils to break out on her skin.

To remind us how bad the blue bloods used to have it, the Discovery Channel is running a series called Royal Deaths And Diseases.

Chances are high that Di will get mention, but tonight’s issue is more concerned with the condition of Henry VIII’s insides.

It barely gives the plot away to tell you that Hal’s innards were as unappealing as his outers. And that Di was killed by a mechanic on a grassy knoll…’

Posted: 7th, January 2004 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink