Anorak News | Short Shrift

Short Shrift

by | 16th, January 2004

‘WHEN we told you yesterday how Clare Short is still nursing a grudge after Jilly Johnson was chosen ahead of her as the first ever Page 3 girl, we omitted one important detail.

‘I’ll check your weapons of mass destruction,’ says Birmingham’s Clare

The negatives from that infamous 1974 photo session still exist. The Sun has them in its possession and is ready to inflict them on a terrified readership.

The photos of the MP for Birmingham Ladywood in various stages of undress are said to be the pictorial equivalent of the nerve agent, ricin.

Exposure to even the smallest amount can cause profound nausea, a flesh-crawling sensation and loss of sight. It is always fatal and there is no known cure.

Which is why, when the Sun warns that this morning’s Page 3 contains a shocking picture of Clare Short topless, we take the warning seriously.

Luckily, this time it is a false alarm – the Clare Short in question is “NOT the barmy MP with a big majority and a Commons seat”.

“For our Clare,” the paper explains to its army of relieved readers, “used to be model Becky Rule until yesterday she legally changed her name.”

Clare’s now namesake may believe that Page 3 is “porn” and should be banned, but our 24-year-old blonde is having none of it.

“She must be mad,” she says. “My parents are thrilled I’m posing topless here for the first time. It’s every model’s ambition to appear in the Sun.”

The Sun may be every British model’s dream, but where do you go after Page 3?

For international exposure, you can’t beat Playboy, where your breasts can be ogled by men in all four corners of the globe.

The Sun reports this morning on how another blonde, Rod Stewart’s ex Rachel Hunter, cheated death while on a Playboy shoot in Mexico after fire swept through the hotel where she was staying.

Luckily, the 35-year-old was not in the building – a £500-a-night bungalow at the swanky Hotel Desconocido resort in Puerto Vallarta – at the time.

“If I’d gone to bed, I wouldn’t be here today,” a shaken Rachel tells the Sun.

Given that the shoot was Rachel’s first foray into topless modelling, can we put the blaze down to coincidence or do we detect higher forces at work?

We all know from our Bible that God can be a bit of a prude, but has He really come out in support of our Clare?’

Posted: 16th, January 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink