Take Her Down

‘IN the spirit of salvation an Anorak Eazy Farrell is on its way right now to Martha Stewart’s stylish, tasteful, yet none-too-fussy, home.

Prison grey is the new black

We only hope she gets it in time, and that our touching gift doesn’t arrive after she’s found guilty of insider stock trading and sent to prison.

If it does (and, of course, she might be innocent), we ask our friends in the American penal system to make a Farrell mask for Martha.

After all, it could be the only thing that stops her being sexually assaulted by a gang of hardcore lesbians.

As friends of the accused say, Martha’s worried that her cell’s powder blue curtains and matching chintz and chiffon overalls will mark her out as a target.

‘Martha must be protected if she’s sent to prison,’ says Thomas Rosazza, a consultant on prison standards, and possible Farrell Family Fan Club member.

‘Her notoriety makes her susceptible to sexual assault and violence.’

But this can be stopped with one look at the Anorak Eazy Farrell. Remember, a Farrell is not just until the stitches heal – it can last the full term of any sentence…’

Posted: 23rd, January 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink