Tears For Beers

‘NEWCASTLE Brown Ale, hereafter referred to by its more familiar colloquial name, “Broon”, is at the centre of a major controversy in the hotbed of parochialism that is its home town.

A Geordie’s glass is always half empty

Sentimental Geordies are aghast at the news that the Scottish & Newcastle Brewery, which produces the foul stuff, is to move its operation to Gateshead.

To Newcastle folk, this is akin to moving to the moon. Worse in fact, because most Geordies have at least seen the moon, whereas they have never made the trip to Gateshead for fear of becoming homesick and bewildered once out of sight of the “Auld Gallogeet”.

The brewery is bullish, and tells the Guardian that Broon still figures as a premium global brand, but this is no consolation to the lachrymose Newcastle drinkers.

The EU is not much help either. It states that the brew cannot be made or copied outside the North-East, which is good news for the rest of Europe, but not for the Geordies, as it allows it to be made anywhere in the region – even Sunderland.

Nothing is decided, but whatever happens, it will allow the mighty Toon Army another excuse to do what they do best – cry in their “beer” over yet another defeat.’

Posted: 17th, February 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink