Anorak News | Going The Country Way

Going The Country Way

by | 1st, March 2004

‘IT is a little known fact that The Archers are not a family of ruddy-cheeked Englishmen and women but a band of Afghani and Albanian immigrants.

Archie was a more wooden performer than he sounded on the radio

The Archers did once exist as humble tillers of the land but, what with the state of agriculture, they sub-let their plot to some migrant labourers and now fence stolen goods from a lorry in the Costcutter’s car park at Saffron Walden.

As such, we are not surprised that standards in Ambridge have been on the slide and now pretty much anything goes.

So steel yourself, dear reader, for the next unbearable truth in the unmasking of the Archers as the Express reports on what will be the village’s first “gay kiss”.

The scene will see Adam Macy (Ibrahim al-Chong) and Ian Craig (Olga Svokaski), the new Grey Gables chef, lock lips in a passionate embrace.

“We have tried to ensure that the kiss isn’t anything too dramatic or sensational,” says an unnamed programme source, but it’s a forlorn hope.

For those, like us, who hanker for the days when the country was an innocent place where people played with a straight bat on the village green and when a gay Morris dancer meant a happy one, we remind you that this is radio.

Just as 1950s radio ventriloquist Peter Brough’s little pal Archie Andrews was revealed when he appeared on TV to have “licks” and a “gody” made of wood and glue, know that a gay kiss is as rare a sight in the country as a happy farmer.

Or, indeed, a gay one…’

Posted: 1st, March 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink