You Saxo Thing

‘EVER since we told you about dogging, the phones have not stopped ringing.

The Dogger’s Delight

Many have made the error of partaking in such illicit sexual depravity while actually in control of a speeding car, forgetting to park up first.

And that’s not how it’s done. That is doughnutting, and it’s a danger to you and those around you. Especially if, as the Mirror says, you are doing it in a Citroen Saxo.

In ‘Unsafe Saxo’, doughnutters learn that the French-made mini is, according to a study in Which? magazine, the least safe car in an accident.

Of course, the list fails to include all cars, and we note that the arousing Trabant, the car responsible for an entire generation of East Germans, is not included in the tests.

Anyone wanting to test-shag a Trabant for research purposes should pop along to the home of retired motor engineer Graham Goodall, who shares his Peak District estate with 49 of the little aphrodisiacs.

But locals are not all happy living so close to a den of vice, and the Mail reports that many have moaned loud and long and now the Peak District National Park Authority has ordered Goodall to remove at least 40 of his harem.

‘The park authority is trying to shaft me,’ says Goodall. ‘I have consulted a barrister and been told that they have no right to serve this notice.’

We quite like Mr Goodall and, being champions of equality, whether it be for same-sex couples or man-and-machine relationships, are raising a petition to help the eccentric in his hour of need.

But we need a celebrity to get the ball rolling. So if you’re reading this, Mr Stan Collymore, how’s about sparing a hand to help a fellow car lover?

But – WHOOOAAA! – best to park up first!’

Posted: 4th, March 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink