Warrington Or Bust

‘AS good as John Constable’s artwork is, and as weepingly melodic as Dhani Harrison’s guitar can be, the feeling is that through successive generations the muse is diluted.

A heroine of our age

And so we wonder what disappointments lie ahead for the children of today’s stars. In short, what will Lily and Molly McFadden be like when they are of age?

They might sing, but can they ever hope to sing as well as their dad, the former Westlife singer Bryan?

And they might have breasts and be able to scream, moan and shout, but we fear they will only be shadows of their mother, the esteemed Kerry.

But not everyone even knows who Kerry is, at least not everyone in her home town of Warrington.

Plans to erect a large bronze statue in the town to commemorate Kerry’s adventures in the jungle have been scrapped because, as a council spokesman tells the Star, ‘a lot of people have never heard of Kerry McFadden’.

So! There are still Japanese soldiers manning Pacific islands who believe the war never ended, but their ignorance should not mean the rest of us have to suffer.

What makes it worse is that, instead of a giant bust of Kerry, the townsfolk of Warrington will have to make do with a statue of that old music-hall comic George Formby.

This cannot be right, and Kerry’s mum is aghast. ‘There are a lot of old fuddy duddies in this town,’ says she. ‘But on the other hand there are thousands of kids in the town who idolise Kerry and don’t have a clue who George Formby is.

‘Everyone knows where Kerry is from and she’s proud to be an ambassador for Warrington.’

And Molly and Lily must be rightly proud, if not a little daunted, to have her as their mum. But they will do their best to emulate her achievements.

So look out for their rise to prominence in years to come as the respective ambassadors of Stapleton Tern and Westby With Plumpton.’

Posted: 17th, March 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink