Through The Glasses Darkly

‘IF Victoria Beckham is, as Hello! says she is, looking ‘ahead to the future with great determination and spirit’, she’s doing so through a pair of enormous dark glasses.

‘The tide is high and I’m holding on, I want to be your No.1…’

Victoria looks less like a wronged wife and more like the produce of a bluebottle’s short romance with a garden rake as she and her goggles hold hands with her ‘did he/didn’t he?’ husband.

But to that future, and Hello! wonders what it holds in store for the couple.

However, lacking the imagination to see her divorcing her Day-vid to marry Prince William or clicking her heels and disappearing in a puff of yellow smoke, the magazine asks what some others think will happen.

‘This debacle might be the making of them,’ says Denise Robertson, who appears on TV’s This Morning show in the role of agony aunt.

‘It may not be bad thing for Victoria to realise she’s not married to someone superhuman,’ says fellow agony aunt Virginia Ironside, who adds that a long-distance relationship like theirs puts an ‘intolerable stain on a marriage’.

‘With her fiery, feisty Aires energy she’s always chasing the next goal, her next challenge,’ says ‘celebrity astrologer’ Debbie Frank.

‘That’s why she won’t settle for being a footballer’s wife and holds onto her dream of achieving a No. 1 record.’

For its part, Hello! just delivers other people’s verdicts and predictions, preferring to look backwards rather than forwards and to focus on ‘Victoria Beckham’s changing style’.

It’s all very reminiscent of the Princess Diana thing, only this time we’re looking at a car crash about to happen.

No wonder Vicky’s wearing dark glasses…’

Posted: 15th, April 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink