Anorak News | Get Off My Land!

Get Off My Land!

by | 6th, May 2004

‘SAMUEL Pepys may have blown the proceeds from his diaries on pornography, but it is a small drop in the ocean compared with the amount we spend today.

Madonna has reinvented herself as a part of the English landed gentry

In 50 Facts That Should Change The World, the Mirror reveals that Americans spend the equivalent of £5.6bn every year on porn – more than their government spends on foreign aid.

It is a lucrative business – just ask Madonna, whose career graduated from the soft porn flick A Certain Sacrifice to soft porn books, soft porn song videos…

Suddenly, however, the singer has come over all shy and is trying to stop ramblers being allowed to roam on 100 acres of land around the Ashcombe House estate she shares with Guy Ritchie.

The Mail says Mrs G Ritchie, as she is referred to, is using the European Convention on Human Rights to argue against a decision allowing access to the land under the Government’s ‘right to roam’ initiative.

The Express says the 45-year-old superstar is the nation’s Queen NIMBY, having referred in the past to ramblers as ‘Satan’s children’ or ‘those fuckers’.

And it says that she has written to Tony Blair, complaining that the right to roam legislation amounts to a stalker’s charter.

(Of course, were John Major still in power, we would probably have a stalker’s charter by now to go with the citizen’s charter, patient’s charter, passenger’ charter…)

But the Countryside Agency said that the legislation applied to everyone equally.

‘Despite sympathy we have for the appellant’s privacy,’ said Stephen Pasterfield, ‘there is no exception for those who, because of their special talents, became famous.’

Or indeed for those many more who became famous despite a conspicuous absence of special talents…’

Posted: 6th, May 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink