Anorak News | Going For Gold

Going For Gold

by | 18th, May 2004

‘YOU might have thought that, after its last ‘world picture exclusive’ cost editor Piers Morgan his job, the Mirror might have been a bit more circumspect.

‘If you’re a real copper, I’m Osama Bin Laden!’

Especially as the picture on the front page of this morning’s newspaper – of a dejected villain sitting by boxes of gold he was trying to steal – looks about as real as Grant Bovey’s suntan.

But the Mirror assures us that all is above board and that it really was at Heathrow yesterday morning to witness what was meant to be the biggest robbery of all time.

The robbers had their eyes on 3.5 tonnes of banknotes (worth £60m) and four pallets of wooden boxes, containing £40m of gold bullion, which arrived at the airport at 10 o’clock.

But unfortunately for them, as they talked their way into the airport with the aid of forge identity documents and cargo manifests, the police (and the Mirror) were lying in wait.

Seven of the eight were arrested, one got away in a stolen van and is currently on the run.

‘The proceeds would have dwarfed every other raid in British criminal history,’ says the Mirror (modestly playing down its role in foiling the raid), ‘including the 1963 Great Train Robbery (whose £2.6m haul is equivalent to £25m today) and the £26m Brink’s-Mat bullion heist in 1983.’

Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but the robbers will surely reflect this morning that they would have been much better off trying to turn over one of Her Madge’s many gaffs.

The Mail reports that yet another intruder (this time posing as a policeman) managed to penetrate several layers of security at Windsor Castle yesterday afternoon and, according to unconfirmed reports, came within yards of the Queen’s bedroom before being apprehended.

The paper carries a picture of the Queen looking distinctly unamused – and well she might.

It’s the second time in less than a year that the police have ruined her and Philip’s game of Queens & Robbers.’

Posted: 18th, May 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink