Anorak News | Laid To Rest

Laid To Rest

by | 19th, May 2004

‘EASTENDERS continues to lose the plot – in fact any plot – as it hurtles headlong into storyline meltdown.

‘Engaged! I must have left it plugged into the Internet’

We’ve got the Sharon and Dennis incest story, which has just disappeared down the storyline plughole, the Ferreiras haven’t mentioned in months the fact that their father has (thankfully) disappeared and now we’re expected to believe that Sonia and Martin are getting married.

That’s right, to Martin – the boy who got Sonia pregnant and then abandoned her; and who also killed her fiancé Jamie.

“I’m gonna make you happy,” he told her in front of a packed Queen Vic – well, he’d struggle to ruin her life any more than he already has done.

Dot and Pauline are clucking around like a pair of hens, making plans for a “proper East End wedding” – so that’ll be the bride eight months pregnant and police called to the reception then.

More ludicrous storylines include Kate and Den’s wife Chrissie opening up a new hairdressing salon in a day – “Sophisti-kates”.

Den tried to help drum up trade for his wife by suggesting to Pat that she get her hair cut there. Understandably, Chrissie wasn’t too happy with him – if potential customers were to walk past and see Pat in the window, they’d assume it was a poodle parlour.

“Let me run my business and you get on with yours,” Chrissie told him – his business being Internet porn, obviously.

There’s some light on the horizon though for EastEnders fans, as the Ferreira family have failed to raise the money needed to save their house after Ash gambled it all away on a horse.

“We’re going to be homeless” Karina wailed – and jobless too, love, if we’re lucky.

There were more celebrations on the Square this week as justice finally caught up with Janine.

Janine was caught trying to flee the Square with a suitcase full of Barry’s money. Once she was safely out of the way, Pat and Natalie broke into their old house to track down Barry’s ashes so they could give him a “decent send off”.

This being EastEnders, though, the decent send-off consisted of sitting on ‘Arfer’s bench’ in the Square and scattering his ashes over a small sapling. It’s rather appropriate though – Barry was both sappy and plank-like when he was alive.’

Posted: 19th, May 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink