Anorak News | Over The Moon

Over The Moon

by | 4th, June 2004

‘THE hopes and dreams of ten million people were dashed this week when the Ferreiras were prevented from leaving the Square by Dot and Mo.

‘If not my mum, then how about me?’

The bailiffs had finally turned up to turf the squatting Ferreiras out of their house in spite of the fact that Adi had been given a mortgage.

“Sorry mate, not up to me,” smirked the bailiff, unable to contain his (our) glee. “You gotta go through the courts to overturn an eviction notice.”

In another ludicrous twist to the whole pointless ‘Ferreira mortgage’ storyline, it was up to Pat to point out to Adi that, although he’s mentally about 12, as a grown man with a business, he’s entitled to apply for a mortgage.

Amazingly, he seems to have found a building society willing to lend him the money, even though the only collateral he has is half a dozen bri-nylon skirts and boob tubes.

But then this is Walford, where no-one owns a washing machine and people work within a two-minute radius from their front doors.

In spite of Adi’s mortgage, the Ferreiras found themselves on the streets until Dot and Mo agreed to take them into their respective homes because that’s another thing about Walford – all houses are replicas of the Tardis, able to house up to 20 people comfortably.

Elsewhere in The Square, there was also bad news for Nana Moon. Nana was supposed to be getting married this week to her toy boy and business guru, Wilfred.

Unfortunately, as was clear to everyone other than an 82-year-old (and Fat Pat), Wilfred was actually a con man.

Alfie caught Wilfred trying to sneak to the tube station on what was meant to be his wedding day. “I’ve only got months to live,” he blurted out to Alfie – which is actually going to be true once Fat Pat realises he’s done a bunk with her 30 grand.

Dirty Den is also another man behaving badly (what a surprise). Wife Chrissy is convinced he’s having an affair and decided to follow him when she overheard him making a restaurant booking for lunch.

She was left shame-faced though when she burst into the restaurant and found him with Ian. Internet sex is one thing but you’d have thought even Dirty Den would have drawn the line at Ian Beale.’

Posted: 4th, June 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink