Anorak News | Royle Roo-ins It

Royle Roo-ins It

by | 22nd, June 2004

‘OPINIONS are generally divided among football fans over whether they prefer John Motson or Barry Davies as a commentator.

Another job well done!

My personal opinion is that they’re both pretty bad, but Motson is at least not as offensive as Davies, who can’t get through a game without using every national stereotype in the book.

But there can be surely no doubt that, when it comes to expert summarisers, Joe Royle is the absolute pits.

He made Trevor Brooking look excitable last night as he droned tediously on about England’s perceived failings – all the more bizarre because England were actually playing rather well at the time.

In fact, it was embarrassing for the BBC that, after 45 minutes in which viewers had heard nothing but Royle’s dirge, its studio guests were absolutely fulsome in their praise for the team.

The English media is rightly criticised for getting overexcited about its team and hyping up every victory, but Royle set out last night to rectify 40 years of hyperbole in one match.

He might have conceded at one point that Wayne Rooney was quite a good player, but that was as positive as he could muster.

What must it be like playing with him as your manager? Beat Real Madrid 5-0 and he would still drone on about a misplaced pass here or some poor control there.

The man’s voice is oral Mogadon – a dull drone that should be banned by international treaty as an instrument of torture.

John Motson may have become a caricature of himself – and his joke about Ashley Cole being “left back” caused a collective cringe – but he sounds glad to be at the game.

Royle has spent his whole life in football and, if last night is any indication of the excitement he derives from it, it’s a pretty sad life he’s led.

Sir Bobby Robson might sound like he’s engrossed in a private conversation with himself over on ITV, but at least it’s a conversation he appears to be enjoying.

Royle did his best last night to ruin what was a pretty good game of football.

I don’t know what he’s paying the BBC to allow him to share his thoughts with the world but, whatever it is, it ain’t enough…’

Posted: 22nd, June 2004 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink