Anorak News | The Heavy Brigade

The Heavy Brigade

by | 25th, June 2004

‘HOLLYWOOD can be broadly divided into two camps. There is the thin camp, a composite blend of the thin, the really thin and the painfully thin.

The biggest star of them all

And then there is the other camp, the fat camp, made up of those who gave up all hope of being thin and decided to be fat instead.

These fat are fewer in number than the thins but with one of them equating to every 15 thinsters, the Hollywood status quo is established and well balanced.

But who are the fattest? Well, folks, no telephoto lenses needed here, since this bunch can be seen with the naked eye by anyone standing on a beach on the west cost of Ireland and looking to the setting sun.

And in no particular order the fatties include: James Gandolfini (285lbs), Kirstie Alley (302bs), Rosie O’Donnell (310lbs), Danny DeVito (170lbs) and John Goodman (400lbs).

They are ‘HOLLYWOOD’S FATTEST STARS’. Not so much the cream of the cream as the cream, fudge sauce, nachos with extra cheese and lard of the elite.

And we salute them because we can be like them without ingesting tape worms, falling prey to the surgeon’s blade or taking up yoga.

All we need do is to eat. And if you must eat peas like those Hollywood princesses, make sure they are first dipped in chocolate sauce and deep-fried.’

Posted: 25th, June 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink