Anorak News | A Write Mess

A Write Mess

by | 8th, July 2004

‘TONY Blair has of course been working tirelessly behind the scenes to secure the release of the four Britons still held at Guantanamo.

‘Raise one hand if you can’t count’

‘George, I’m sorry to have to ask, but I’m getting it in the neck at home. Will you let them go please?’

‘No can do, Tony.’

‘Of course you can’t. I understand. I’m sorry that I even asked. Another pretzel?’

However, the Guardian says the British government is now under pressure at least to tell its citizens of the supreme court ruling when officials next visit the camp.

And it says Blair risks another clash (similar to the one outlined above) with his closest ally if the US refuses to allow UK officials to do so.

However, in the spirit of compromise, may we at Anorak take this opportunity to propose a solution that will keep everyone happy?

We suggest that UK officials hand the detainees a piece of paper on which the supreme court ruling is explained.

Now, assuming the four Britons detained at Guantanamo share the same literacy skills as the rest of their countrymen, they will not understand a word.

Therefore, the Yanks will be happy, Tony Blair can say he’s done his duty and the four prisoners can look forward to growing old in orange.

Sadly, there they will not get to reap the benefits of the Government’s latest five-year plan – this time in education – to devolve more money and power to individual schools.

The plan builds on the success of the last seven years in which the Government has created a country in which a quarter of all children leave primary school without knowing the three Rs from their elbow.

Even the Prime Minister admitted that the figures were ‘a scandal’, although he claimed that barely half of 11-year-olds were able to read, write or count properly when the Tories left office in 1997.

However, as the Telegraph says, ‘such a direct comparison is difficult to justify because in 1999, after disappointing results in Labour’s first two years in office, it lowered the standard pass mark’.

‘Not surprisingly,’ it adds, ‘this led to an immediate apparent improvement in literacy levels.’

Well, it worked once. Why not just try the same trick again?’

Posted: 8th, July 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink