Anorak News | Passport To Athens

Passport To Athens

by | 21st, July 2004

‘WHAT with Chelsea’s efforts to buy every half decent player in Europe capturing the headlines, it’s been easy to ignore the goings-on at Old Trafford.

‘Norwich? What’s that?’

Usually, the summer is spent listening to Alex Ferguson saying how his side were robbed of the league title or won it because they were so very good.

But until now he’s been remarkably quiet. So yesterday the Express went to Manchester to see if something nasty had befallen the charmless Scot.

And they found Ferguson alive and well, posing for photographs with new recruit Alan Smith and speaking about the season ahead.

And he had a few words to the wise for Jose Mourinho, the new Chelsea coach.

“It’s difficult to say how Chelsea will fare,” says Ferguson, who usually finds no difficulty in telling his chief rivals how they will fail horribly.

“I don’t think money is an issue. The issue is picking the right players.”

Quite so. And Mourinho must ensure he doesn’t lash out £30m on a player who can’t even be bothered to turn up for a routine drugs test.

But while Fergie cranks up the mind games in July, the Sun looks ahead to the Olympic Games, and introduces its readers to Malachi Davis.

And American-born Davis needs an introduction since the man who’ll represent Britain in the 400 metres and the 4x400m relay in Athens only gained his British passport two weeks ago, thanks to the happy accident of his mother having been born here.

Now the man who was the 26th fastest 400m runner in America last year is preparing to bring gold back to Britain.

Or England, the county he thinks he’s running for. And he also has it, or so the Sun says, that Liverpool are the current Premier League champions.

To the Sun this is bad enough, but worse is to follow as Davis answers some of the questions that pass for the Sun’s citizenship exam.

Sun: Does Davis know what the UK’s favourite soap opera is?

Davis: “I have never heard of Coronation Street. No, I have never heard of EastEnders.”

Sun: Does he know who the Foreign Secretary is?

Davis: “No.”

Sun: Has he ever heard of Lord’s cricket ground?

Davis: “Which city is that?”

To the Sun, it’s a scandal that Davis is allowed to represent the red, white and blue and is not deported on the spot.

The paper’s owner, Rupert Murdoch, must be choking on his hamburger and fries…’

Posted: 21st, July 2004 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink