Anorak News | Sunita’s Headache

Sunita’s Headache

by | 23rd, July 2004

‘SUNITA’S discovered that she may be dying from a brain haemorrhage, but death may be preferable to being stalked by mad Maya for the rest of her life.

‘Drink this, my dear’

Maya had managed to convince herself that Dev had taken Sunita to hospital for a termination after getting her pregnant. The woman is so deranged it’s a surprise she’s not the one with some sort of brain disease.

Maya stole Sunita’s house keys and got a set cut for herself so she could snoop around her flat. Upon discovering a pregnancy testing kit, Maya became convinced that her Dev had given Sunita an extra special staff bonus.

She waited until she saw Dev going up into Sunita’s flat and then burst in on them like an avenging fury. Once Dev had managed to peel Maya off Sunita, he calmly explained that he had his arm around Sunita because she’d just discovered she might have a fatal brain tumour.

“So you might die then?” said Maya, visibly brightening. “Maybe,” Sunita quietly replied. Maya has now decided to become Sunita’s best friend in her hour of need, bringing her flasks of green tea into the shop.

“Drink this, my dear,” she purred, sounding exactly like the wicked stepmother from Snow White.

Sally Webster is running a close second in the Weatherfield Mad Women 10 furlongs this week. She’s taken Rosie out of Weatherfield High without consulting her daughter or her husband.

She has also burnt her bridges by calling Rosie’s form teacher – “an incompetent buffoon” – and further incensed her husband by cancelling the Streets Cars garage contract. “I’m sick of yer meddling,” Kev shouted at her, before storming off to The Rovers.

Sally is about as subtle as Liz McDonald’s underwear drawer, however, so it’s unlikely she’s going to take the hint and will continue to bulldoze her poor family until they rise up as one and bludgeon her to death.

New boy Jamie Baldwin joined the Street this week. Jamie is laughably being touted as the street’s new sex symbol: unfortunately he looks like a podgy member of Busted.

Jamie appeared on dad Danny’s doorstep with a sheepish grin on his face and a tale of “owing some people money” and “needin’ to lay low for a while.”

Jamie is quickly establishing his Cheeky Chirpy Cockney persona by calling Blanche “gorgeous” and mercilessly flirting with all the factory girls.

Jamie’s stepmother, Frankie, is less than pleased to see Jamie though. “He’s my stepson actually,” she told Vera in the caff. “Do I look old enough to be his mother?” “Yes, love,” chirped up Blanche, “you do.”

Jamie’s visit to Weatherfield was cut short, however, when he was arrested the next day. Not for crimes against the East London accent but for allegedly beating up his stepmother’s former lover, Vinnie (still with me?).

“I never did it, dad!” Jamie cried, while being dragged away in handcuffs. And on the face of it, it’s hard to see Jamie battling with anything tougher than the wrapping on his next Ginsters pasty…and even then he’d probably need help from his dad.’

Posted: 23rd, July 2004 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink