Anorak News | The Exterminator

The Exterminator

by | 10th, August 2004

‘AS we grow older, we have one childhood dream after another cruelly shattered.

‘Kids have got no respect these days…my back’s killing me…the TV’s gone right off…’

We realise that since our local drugs dealer can’t get hold of EPO or THG, our chances of being an Olympic athlete are almost nil.

Our GCSE in media studies will not get us a job as a trainee astronaut at NASA. And ballerinas are rarely if ever a size 16, however graceful.

And today the Telegraph delivers another kick in the guts of our youths as it picks up a can opener and takes a peek inside a Dalek.

The BBC’s new Dr Who series has been attracting attention because of its indecision about whether to include the Daleks or not.

First they were out. Then they were in. Then they out again. And now, we read that if they are to be in, 77-year-old actor John Scott is ready to reprise his famous role.

Yes, actor! The Daleks were not real!

While we weep from this latest shock, that heartless swine Scott shatters one illusion after another.

“There was no special technique to make the move,” says he. “You just trampled around and they glided about on three caster wheels – a bit like supermarket trolley…

“I would frequently topple over and I would be left screaming, ‘Get me out of this thing”.

Surely he means, “Ex…ter…min…ate!”.

“Over the years, I don’t think they have dated that much,” Scott continues.

“I don’t think it will be long before we see kids running around in the streets pretending to be Daleks once again.”

Well, think again, Scott. You’ve just destroyed their fun. What nipper wants to pretend to be a 77-year-old jobbing actor in a painted eggshell suit?

Better to stick at playing at cowboys, kids – at least that way you might get to become something, like ruler of the free world…’

Posted: 10th, August 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink