Anorak News | John The Terrible

John The Terrible

by | 17th, August 2004

‘THE US Presidential election started off in the gutter and is going swiftly downhill as we get closer to the November polling day.

John Kerry, with his packed lunch

So far, it seems that the deciding issue will not be what either candidate proposes to do about the economic disaster that is looming as America’s budget deficit spirals out of control.

Nor indeed does either candidate have much idea of how to extricate American troops from Iraq without the country descending into an even greater state of anarchy.

No, the election looks like it will be decided on that oh-so-vital issue of gay marriage and which candidate is the more patriotic.

In American politics, there is no depth to which a candidate will not stoop to traduce his opponent and this year is no exception.

However, it takes a quite incredible amount of brass neck for an administration led by men who used their connections to avoid the Vietnam draft to attack John Kerry over his record on the war.

Kerry, you might remember, won three Purple Hearts during his tour of duty as a swift boat captain on the Mekong delta – although shamefully the Republicans are now questioning whether he really deserved the medals.

The closest President Bush got to Vietnam, on the other hand, was his tour of duty with the Texas National Air Guard; vice-president Dick Cheney got five deferments and once explained his non-service with the staggering line, “I had other priorities”; and attorney general John Ashcroft managed to win a mind-boggling seven deferments after his graduation in 1964.

If, even on that basis, the White House is prepared to attack Kerry on his war record, then a snippet in today’s Guardian should give them yet more ammunition.

British researchers have discovered that Kerry is related to all the royal houses in Europe – not such a bad thing you might think in a royalty-obsessed country.

Mr Bush, by contrast, can only claim kinship with Queen Elizabeth I, as well as Kings Henry III and King Charles II.

But it turns out that, through his mother Rosemary Forbes, Kerry is a distant relation of the former Tsar of Russia, Ivan The Terrible.

Which makes him a Commie, as well as a peacenik.’

Posted: 17th, August 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink