Anorak News | All The President’s Men

All The President’s Men

by | 25th, August 2004

‘I LIKED Matt Damon in The Bourne Identity, so I’m going to vote for John Kerry.

‘Four More Years!’

So goes the thinking in America, where the race to be president is a made-for-TV event.

Just yesterday, we noticed that many Democrats were appalled by the adverts casting aspersions on John Kerry’s Vietnam War record.

In Hollywood, showbiz Democrats were no less aghast. The shoddy camera work, the poor make-up and the lack of special effects were an affront to their artistic temperament.

So, the Telegraph says, some of the big names in entertainment have set about making their own campaign movies.

And last night, these adverts were showcased in New York in an event called ’10 Weeks: Don’t Get Mad, Get Even’, a reference to the time between now and the November 2 election.

Once a week, one of the ten 30-second adverts will be screened on American TV.

Rob Reiner will employ all the skills learnt from his hit movie When Harry Met Sally to show how a vote for Kerry will lead to better orgasms.

His fellow director Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity) is reunited with Matt Damon in a film that will show that Americans always have nice teeth and win the day.

And all this on top of the Vote For Change tour in which such notables as Bruce Springsteen will extol the virtues of being born in the USA.

And the Hip-Hop Summit, where rappers will tell you mutha-fuckas how they ain’t gonna be no ho bitch ho for no-one, no how, no ever.

So much for the Kerry gang show.

Over in the Bush camp, Mel Gibson is getting behind his man – it’s what Jesus would have wanted.

And Britney Spears is showing how life under Bush has made her stomach flatter and her hair blonder.

And so it goes on, as the actors, singers and entertainers get behind their man.

And the rest of the world gets into a nuclear bunker…’

Posted: 25th, August 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink