Anorak News | Don’t Mention The Wars

Don’t Mention The Wars

by | 25th, October 2004

‘IF you see a lot of people standing on one leg, looking at their face in the mirror or trying to read business card while catching a falling ruler, do not be surprised.

Belgian modern art

They are only trying to calculate their “real” biological age with four tests designed to tell whether they’re younger or older than their age in years.

The first test, for instance, tests your balance – the longer you can balance on your left leg with your right leg bent at a 45 degree angle, the younger you are.

The second test looks for cholesterol, the third tests your eyesight and the fourth gauges your reaction time.

And the Express says the results are so accurate that one leading expert in ageing, Professor Robert Weale, thinks they should be used to determine a person’s retirement age.

Meanwhile, the Mail has a test of its own to help determine a person’s age – and this one has the official sanction of the European Union.

It divides the population into those who have any idea what happened in Britain between the dates 1914-1919 and 1939-1945 and those who don’t.

For increasingly children will learn that nothing of any interest happened during those dates, after Brussels decided to omit all mention of Britain’s role in two world wars from a school history book it has produced.

The first date worthy of mention in the British section of the book, Histoires de l’Europpe Volume 1, is 1931 when the Commonwealth was formed, followed by 1947 when Britain pulled out of India.

The section of Germany manages to omit all mention of the Nazis, although it does note that 1929 saw “a surge in extremist movements” and Hitler became chancellor in 1933.

About 10,000 copies of the book have been distributed to children in Belgium aged between 16 and 18.

Many of whom, we imagine, will now be somewhat confused about what those rows and rows of white headstones are doing in their country…’

Posted: 25th, October 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink