Anorak News | The Ten Commandments

The Ten Commandments

by | 11th, November 2004

‘WHEN Moses went up Mount Sinai, it took him a good three days to get to the summit, receive the two tablets on which the Ten Commandments were inscribed and return to base camp.

”There’s no No.1!”

The mountain, we are told, “is not only very difficult to be ascended by men, on account of its vast altitude, but because of the sharpness of its precipices also”.

Thankfully, however, Victoria Beckham has people to perform the menial tasks that were previously carried out by the leader of the Israelites.

And so she sent some lackey in one of David’s many 4x4s to collect her own version of the Ten Commandments, which the Star says she has issued to her “trouble-prone” husband.

“These rules may seem laughable, but Victoria’s deadly serious that David should stick to them,” a source says.

“She has told David that if he doesn’t stop flirting behind her back and behaving in such a secretive fashion, she will move back to England.”

In which case, we’re sure that the whole of England would like to join Anorak in urging the Real Madrid midfielder to follow all 10 rules to the letter.

They include injunctions such as “Thou shalt take my calls and not divert me to voice-mail”, “Thou shalt spend Christmas with my family” and “Thou shalt not sulk and disappear for hours”.

“Thou shalt not blame the pitch when you miss a vital penalty”, “Thou shalt not feed our best strawberries to your lover”, “Thou shalt not block your ears whenever your wife sings”…’

Posted: 11th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink