Anorak News | Diamond Dick

Diamond Dick

by | 12th, November 2004

‘WHEN Nancy Dell’Olio claims to be The New Diana, what she really means is that she is The New Posh.

What does he see in her?

For, when Diana’s Mercedes was tragically forced off the road by that packed Fiat Uno those eight tear-filled years ago, it was a singing pencil by the name of Victoria Beckham who jumped immediately into one of her 1,500 pairs of shoes.

And while Victoria was trying on Diana’s shoes for size, her husband (and sometime lover) was trying on Diana’s dresses and preparing to spread love to all and sundry very much in the manner of the late princess.

The Sun says England football captain David Beckham is to become a UN ambassador with a mission to spread love beyond a select group of pig-pleasuring PAs.

His duties, the paper says, “will include helping poverty-stricken children across the globe get into sport”.

But what does his wife do while her husband is shining the light of his popularity from Tibet to Timbuktu?

Well, according to the front page of the Star, her loving husband is planning to give her a £1m jewel-encrusted sex toy to keep her amused in his absence.

The paper says he has put the diamond and platinum sex aid – the world’s priciest – on his Christmas shopping list “to put the sparkle back into his troubled marriage”.

It is, as you would expect for that money, an exact replica of David’s own member and comes complete with a set of golden balls.

And it will, says the Star, “leave a sparkling smile on wife Victoria’s face” and a nasty case of metal rash down below…’

Posted: 12th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink