Anorak News | Out On His Year

Out On His Year

by | 15th, November 2004

‘WITH the Christmas No.1 already known, all that’s left for the BBC to do is to stick on a video of Only Fool’s And Horses for the holiday season to be good to go.

”Looks like rain again”

But while we count down the remaining days on last year’s calendar, we wonder what the past year’s been like for the hero depicted thereon, one David Beckham.

When we excitedly unwrapped Dave 2004 11 months ago, he was shiny, buffed and smelling of sweet, head-turning vinyl and glue.

Nowadays, he’s a little dog-eared, a little used and he smells of something his erstwhile PA might have stepped in on The Farm.

So, we here at Anorak Towers have a difficult decision to make – should we invest in his calendar again and spend another year with Day-vid looking down upon us.

For many of us the answer is a definite ”no”. As the Express reports, Day-vid’s 2005 calendar is now only the fifth most popular celebrity year planner on the wall.

Last year’s No.2, Day-vid has been knocked down a peg or three, meaning that for the first time in five years the footballer is out of the top three.

There are some 40 shopping days for Dave to change this around, but while he contemplates his annus horribilis, we wonder who’s No.1.

Well, it’s not his wife Vicky, naturally, which means it must be Robbie Williams, who can be seen advertising 2005 in a white vest.

Also above Dave are Jonny Wilkinson, in at No.3, and Elvis Presley, a singer who’s been quiet of late but can still pull in a crowd, at No.4.

But the terrific news is the identity of the No.2 calendar boy, and the discovery that it’s none other than our old friend Cliff Richard.

On its cover, Cliff stares out in a way that suggests divine inspiration – or an ageing man wondering if he needs the toilet again before going out.

What lies on the pages within is not revealed. To discover that you will have to do as so many thousands have done and buy a year’s worth of Cliff.

Or go to your nearest Travelodge and ask for Darren Day…’

Posted: 15th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink