Anorak News | Alas, Smith Is Bones

Alas, Smith Is Bones

by | 26th, November 2004

‘THOSE of us who bought the last Anna Nicole Smith Inflatable Doll are using our last ounce of energy to kick ourselves.

With complimentary foot pump

How stupid we were to invest in inflatable Anna when she was, at the top of her game, a true heavyweight star.

It would take a flatulent elephant a year to blow up Anna’s thighs alone, so what hope a mere human in pumping Anna up to her full potential?

Had we only waited, we’d have got to see Anna shed many pounds and turn into something that can be recreated in the comfort of your trailer or communal hot tub in one very hard puff.

And what’s more, this new EZ-Inflate Anna comes with a slow-release air valve.

Just the other day, Anna was exhaling at the American Music Awards. The Enquirer is of the impression that she “babbled incoherently on stage, seemed lost – and needed to be held up by two body guards backstage”.

She was, of course, simply deflating in the mode of her new doll.

But her designer, the wonderfully named Bobby Trendy, fears Anna is reverting to her old ways.

“I heard from someone close to her,” says Trendy, “that they stand there with pills and reward Anna when she poses.”

Go on… “’Pose happy’, she gets a pill. ‘Pose sad’, and she gets another.

Crikey, this sounds ominous. And it might just be that the new Anna is on her way to becoming the old Anna.

In which case, pucker up and get ready to blow. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride…’

Posted: 26th, November 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink