A Celestial Suit

‘DAVID Blunkett is completely innocent of wrongdoing with regards to his lover’s nanny’s visa application.

‘Kimberly Fortier, I’m watching you!’

We know this because he says so – and, if it was good enough for Marcel Duchamp, it’s good enough for our Home Secretary.

We also know that Kimberly Fortier, his mistress of three years and mother – perhaps – to two of his children, is also without blame in the whole affair.

We know this because a study last week concluded that women who have extramarital affairs are genetically programmed to do so.

Ms Fortier – or Mrs Quinn, as she likes her married persona to be known – could no more have said ‘no’ to Mr Blunkett than she could have flapped her arms and started to fly.

Or indeed have run a marathon. Infidelity, it seems, is not the only thing that is in our genes – so, says today’s Times, is our natural level of fitness.

If you have the wrong genes, say researchers at Louisiana State University, all the horizontal jogging in the world isn’t going to do any good.

‘The vast majority will benefit in some way,’ Claude Bouchard tells the paper, ‘but there will be a minority who will not benefit at all.’

That’s tough luck, but all is not lost. As the advert reminds us, where there’s blame, there’s a claim – and we would advise the genetically fat and unfit to consult their lawyers.

After all, we read in the Telegraph that relatives of elderly people killed by heatwaves could soon start to sue.

No-one, it seems, is above the law – not even God.’

Posted: 2nd, December 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink