Anorak News | Citizen Watch

Citizen Watch

by | 20th, January 2005

‘MOST 18-year-olds celebrate their coming of age in time-honoured fashion with their first legal pint at the pub where they have been drinking illegally for the past four years.

”I promise to vote Labour and keep quiet about things I don’t like”

They then have another 10 or so legal pints, vomit on the steps of the pub as they are leaving and shout abuse at any passer-by who dares complain.

It is a kind of ritual, repeated every night of the year the length and breadth of Britain.

But the Government, so scornful of tradition and so jealous of our fun, wants to put an end to all that.

According to the Telegraph, it wants to introduce instead a special citizenship ceremony recognising the fact that our new adults now have the right to vote.

If they have any sense, they will immediately vote for whichever party promises to do away with this ridiculous plan, modelled on a scheme introduced in Australia five years ago.

The Australian version, held on days of local significance, is at least voluntary.

Oaths include things like “I will not dob on my mates”, “I will make every statement sound like a question” and “I will never resist any opportunity to tell the rest of the world how great Australia is – even though I haven’t lived there for seven years”.

The British version, however, will almost certainly be compulsory – no doubt with curfews for those who don’t turn up.

Home Office minister Fiona Mactaggart explains: “It is about a rite of passage.

“It might increase voting among young people, for example, and increase their interest in contributing to society.”

It might also make a squadron of pigs fly in close formation over the frozen wastes of Hell. On the other hand, it might not…’

Posted: 20th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink