Anorak News | A Close Shave

A Close Shave

by | 7th, February 2005

‘FUNNY it isn’t it that while XXX-rated pornographic websites are called, and, strip clubs have more demure names.

”So, number two back and sides?”

To the innocent, a man visits a strip club because he’s a pretty desperate sort after a few cheap thrills that he can’t get unless he pays for them.

But give this cavalcade of slappers a pole in a ”gentleman’s club” with a name like Cabaret of Angels, the esoteric Spearmint Rhino or Venus, and it all seems so mature and knowing. Cultured even.

Take Sophisticats, the London venue where the Enquirer says Christian Slater spent $16,000 on a ”bevy of voluptuous beauties, and ended up in a blacked-out VIP room, where he enjoyed private dances for hours”.

And once more those uninitiated into the world of modern man can find themselves jumping to a conclusion that is plain wrong.

You might suppose that inside these secret dens of vice and sleaze, temptation gives way to unbridled lust and sex will be sold for filthy lucre.

But you’d be horribly wrong. Because the Enquirer has heard that Slater has been in the private rooms at a Canadian branch of Club Desperate before.

Back then he was there with his wife, Ryan Haddon, and the story went like this.

The Slaters, Ben Affleck and ”other Hollywood pals” were at a Vancouver strip club being hip and cool. ”But Haddon flew into a rage when she walked in on her hubby having his back shaved by one of the dancers.”

Did you hear that? Did you see what the words said? He was having his back shaved by one of the dancers!

He was not shagging her or showing her that champagne bubbles can go up other holes besides your nose.

Heck, she wasn’t even dancing for him. Indeed, it could be argued that Slater was depilating for his wife, making the effort in personal grooming that perhaps she would appreciate.

Not that she was impressed. And what with his night out in Sophisticats, the public rows, the nine stitches he needed in his ear when Haddon flung a glass at him after she caught him in a Las Vegas strip club, their marriage has come to an end.

And a sticky end at that…’

Posted: 7th, February 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink