Anorak News | Den Is Dead

Den Is Dead

by | 28th, February 2005

‘THE floor of the Queen Vic has always been a special place for Dirty Den – he fathered Vicky on it for a start – so it seems fitting that he should have taken his last breath there.

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“You’ll ‘ave to cart me out of ‘ere in a box,” Den sneered when the Witches of Walford cornered him in the Vic, demanding that he give the pub to Chrissie.

Chrissie, Zoe and Sam have ensured that Den’s final words will be respected, however, as they’ve buried him under the cellar of his beloved pub in a ridiculous story line involving Den murdered by a papier mache dog and builders turning up on time.

Chrissie persuaded Sam and Zoe to work together to oust Den from the pub and from Walford.

They hatched up a plan to humiliate Den by getting Sharon to secretly return to Walford so she could hear how Den had slept with Zoe and got her pregnant and how he’d conned Sam out of the Vic.

“I never wanna see you again,” Sharon told him before sweeping out of the Vic. And shortly afterwards, Chrissie ensured that his ‘Princess’ would never have to – by whacking him over the head with a doorstop made in the shape of a Scotty Dog.

As exits go, it wasn’t the most dignified – but what does a man who gets his kicks from appearing naked to strangers on the internet expect?

Chrissie took great pleasure in telling Den that the Vic was no longer his as she’d tricked him into signing some legal papers and that Sharon’s return to Walford was all her doing.

Den lost his temper and started to try and strangle her so Sam and Zoe waded in to save her. Zoe struck Den first with the dog, but you can’t keep a bad man down and it was Chrissie who had to finish him off.

“Good riddance to bad rubbish,” was Chrissie reaction when she realised that she’d killed her husband. Sam and Zoe were horrified by her calmness but agreed to help her hide the body, not least because Zoe is convinced that it was actually her who’d killed him.

“I think the cellar floor could do with some work,” Chrissie smirked. “Let’s get the builders in.”

Andy Hunter was also swiftly dispatched back to casting limbo when new (bad) boy Johnny Allen found out that Andy was planning on doing a runner with all his money.

“Don’t ever fink you can get one over on me,” muttered Johnny to Andy after he’d caught up with him and Danny Moon on a motorway bridge. “I won’t do it again, Johnny,” pleaded Andy. Too right he won’t, as Johnny shoved him off the bridge without a backward glance.

“And you’ll keep yer mouf shut if you don’t wanna go the same way,” Johnny told a terrified Danny.

But both killers hadn’t counted on Pat ‘The Cat’ Butcher, who’s turned into Cagney and Lacey (well, it looks like she’s eaten both of them).

She’s hot on the trail of both Johnny and Chrissie. “You ain’t gonna get away wif it,” she told Johnny. “I know you killed Andy.”

She was also in The Vic when Den’s mobile phone started ringing. “I fort you said he was away on business,” she questioned Chrissie. “He doesn’t go anywhere without his phone.”

Somehow I don’t think even Vodafone cover the depths of hell.’

Posted: 28th, February 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink