Tommy’s Troubles

‘THE stage is being set for Coronation Street’s very own Shakespearean tragedy – Othello, King Lear and Macbeth all rolled into one and played out on the cobbled streets of Weatherfield.

”I’ll always be here for you, love”

Tommy is about to be murdered by his own daughter after he convinces her that Martin is having an affair with Sally.

Tommy isn’t the brightest button in the box and when he sees Martin going into Sally’s house he immediately concludes that the aging nurse is her fancy fella.

The tragedy is that, for the first time in his life, Martin is actually doing a spot of nursing, having gone to check up on Sally’s daughter Rosie, who’s complaining of an upset tummy.

In spite of Martin’s protests, Tommy is like a dog with a bone (only twice as stupid) and won’t let go of the idea. He even manages to convince Katy that his lunatic ramblings are grounded in reality – which will ultimately lead to his murder in two weeks’ time.

The irony is that Sally really is having an affair but when Katy’s mum hears her and Gail talking in The Rovers about “how it’s a mate of Kevin’s,” she’s convinced that it’s Martin too.

Of course, Martin isn’t nearly a good enough catch for Sally and her borderline prostitution needs nowadays. She’s set her heights much higher, casually telling an open-mouthed Gail that she’s going to carry on sleeping with Ian and taking his ‘bonuses’ to put her daughters through university.

“You’ve changed, Sally,” Gail told her. “I don’t know who you are any more.” “Good!” Sally tartly (and tartily) replied. “I’m on the up now.” Well, she’s certainly not the first woman to get on the up by lying on her back.

Shelly is another dumb blonde who’s happily let herself be manipulated by a man. And she’s even dumber than Sally as she’s not even getting paid.

Charlie has persuaded Shelly that her best friend Sunita has been bitching about her behind her back. He’s determined to turn Shelly against Sunita because he can’t bear the fact that she’s got any friends or life without him.

“I didn’t want to tell ya this,” he lied, “but I overheard Sunita saying that you were still really fat and laughin’ at yer.” “Thank God I’ve got you, Charlie,” sobbed the brainless pudding.

There’s trouble in another relationship over the road as newly-wed Claire has decided she wants to go back to work. “I’m a qualified nanny,” she told Fred and Ashley, before bizarrely deciding to apply for a job as a tram driver.

“I’ve always had a dream to drive trams,” she told a startled Fred and Ashley, “ever since me dad told me story of Terry the Tram when I were a kid.”

Fred is horrified at the prospect of his daughter-in-law becoming a tram driver. “Why does she need a job?” he asked his son, “She’s got us to look after.” No wonder Fred’s still single.

Fred’s offered her an (unpaid) job at the butcher’s which unsurprisingly she’s turned down. Being married to Ashley, she already gets to handle all the uncooked, greasy white meat she can handle.’

Posted: 28th, February 2005 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink