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News Bites

by | 24th, March 2005

‘IT’S not easy being the head of a large corporation, especially one as high profile as the BBC.

”You want a piece of me?”

Everyday you are faced with tough choices. Who do I sack? How do I sack them? How do I justify employing Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen? Who do I to eat? How do I eat them?

Thankfully, Mark Thompson, the Beeb’s Director General, does not baulk at a challenge. Under his firm hand, staff will disappear faster than an EastEnders storyline and others will be eaten at random.

But signs are that even the bearded Thompson has bitten off more than he can chew. And the Mirror leads with the sensational headline: “BEEB BOSS BIT ME.”

The report says that the man the Express labels “The beast of the BBC” sank is teeth into the arm of Anthony Massey, a senior television journalist.

The Mail (“The day I was bitten on the arm by the BBC boss”) says that Massey suffered clear bite marks through his shirt.

No paper bothers to print a shot of the marks, nor of Massey, leaving it to readers’ imagination to work out just how tasty the victim is.

But Mail readers do hear how the story came to light in an email exchange between Newsnight presenter Jeremy Paxman and World Deputy Editor Massey.

“I’ve got to interview Mark Thompson tomorrow,” writes Paxman. “Is it true that he once bit you?”

“It’s absolutely true,” replies Massey. He goes on: “I was standing next to him on his right, and he was sitting reading his horoscope in the Star (I always remember that detail).

“Before I could say a word he suddenly turned, snarled, and sank his teeth into my upper arm… It hurt. I pulled my arm out of his jaws, like a stick out of the jaws of a Labrador.”

This leaves Paxman to conclude: “This bloke is clearly insane.” And in another email to state: “Bloody hell. If any of this came out, he’d be toast.”

Which is a meal, perhaps, tastier than an arm – but not as delicious as the cold dish of revenge now being served on the man who plans to sack so many BBC employees…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 24th, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink