Anorak News | Barman Brawl

Barman Brawl

by | 29th, March 2005

‘IN times of trouble, the temptation for Wayne Rooney to return to his old ways – and the bed of the 48-year-old woman known as Auld Slapper in her rough trade – must be resisted.

Buy-buy Wayne?

Rooney has surely matured since his early days as a footballer – and besides, he now earns enough money to get the woman who claims to be his former lover a taxi round to his mansion.

You see, there is trouble in paradise, or at least the sweaty boozer that substitutes for such a place on the sun-kissed island of Tenerife.

La Roon’s girlfriend, professional shopper Coleen McLoughlin, has cut short her break on the Spanish island after she was pictured holding hands with a barman.

This, as the Express reports, left England’s footballing tyro “annoyed and embarrassed”. He picked up the phone and in a series of “blistering phone calls” told his girlfriend that she was distracting him for his job of swearing, spitting and kicking a ball.

He then insisted she vacate the £600-a-night hotel suite and fly home at once to explain her actions.

Why had she been pressing flesh with barman Toby Eason during a boozy night at Lineker’s bar when Rooney thought she’d been shopping for dresses?

Why had she been involved in trouble at Rags nightclub – one of her pals was thrown out, sparking a brawl with a group of Spanish girls – when poor Wayne thought she was out buying shoes?

Where did she get that bikini from, and who told her to wear it with those boots?

Questions that must be answered fully and frankly if Rooney and his lover are to make a go of things.

And the romance is to last longer than the time it takes a mother of six to put on her cowboy outfit and saddle up…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 29th, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink