Anorak News | Good Clean Fun?

Good Clean Fun?

by | 1st, April 2005

‘SPEAKING of erotic paraphernalia, the Sun reveals that “half of all women own a sex toy”, and they are “set to outsell washing machines”.

Joyce found washing ”orgasmic”, and the best legal high since ironing

This is according to a survey by Ann Summers, the one-stop shop for all your nylon and vinyl needs.

Now, we here at Anorak don’t pretend to be experts on this sort of thing, but judging by the women’s magazines we peruse in the course of our daily duties, we were under the impression that washing machines were used primarily as vibrators these days, on account of the exciting way in which they shake about when you sit on them.

Although none of us has actually used one for this purpose, we do have evidence of their vibrating powers.

Old Mr Anorak once sat on one during its spin cycle and the shaking was sufficient to spill the cup of tea that he was holding. (Every cloud has a silver lining, though. His accident led him to invent Eezy-Wipe Comfi-Slax, which can be cleaned quickly and easily with a handkerchief should disaster strike.)

The paper says that 2.4 million sex toys and 2.7 million washing machines were sold in 2004 alone, and these figures could explain the findings of research by psychologists at the University of Middlesex.

The Express reports that one of the major causes of anger in modern life involves “‘unattainable goals’ such as buying an appliance that does not work”.

What’s more, men tend to describe their feelings as a “flood”, whereas women use phrases such as “bubbling” or “simmering”.

It all points to one inescapable conclusion. An outbreak of sex rage that will make Faliraki look like an Ann Summers party at the local vicarage.’

Posted: 1st, April 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink