Anorak News | Strictly Speaking

Strictly Speaking

by | 4th, April 2005

‘TO confront the threat posed by satellite TV, the BBC has hit upon a brilliant new format: why spend money on Rupert Murdoch’s crap when the BBC is more than capable of using your licence fee to make its own crap?

”Get ready for the Off-Button Quick Step”

Why pay for the same crap twice?

So the Beeb strives to show to that part of the population not already addicted to football and Star Trek that there is no need to bother subscribing to Sky and its ilk.

Why bother paying for America’s Next Top Model (Living TV), When Games Attack (Bravo) and Father of the Pride (Sky One) when the BBC can broadcast its own crap, like Just For Laughs, Strictly Dance Fever and Outtake?

It’s public service broadcasting at its very best. And to ram the message home, you could watch that lot in a single sitting in front of BBC1 last Saturday night.

Those of you poor sods who watched Graham Norton’s first show since signing an exclusive BBC deal last year saw what are routinely termed “real people” reprise the role of “celebrities” who danced in Strictly Come Dancing.

Yes, that’s right, this new programme is a lot like the old Come Dancing, where dancers trained in Mambo, Salsa and Rumba used to set the ballrooms of Blackpool and Bournemouth alight in a blaze of teeth, tits and tangerine taffeta.

Only now there’s a £50,000 grand prize! A phone vote! And Graham Norton!

It’s like watching The Hitman and Her* while pumped up on sweet, milky tea and petits fours.

(* This was a late-nigh show where the Pete Waterman and Michaela Strachan would show up at some local nightspot to par-tee with the pissed-up locals.)

Which is, of course, challenging, edgy, sexy and all those other exciting things TV execs say their shows are. And, strictly speaking, utter crap to the rest of us…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 4th, April 2005 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink