Anorak News | Toon Cryer

Toon Cryer

by | 4th, April 2005

‘SPEAKING of Lee Bowyer, the Star offers an intriguing explanation of Saturday’s fisticuffs at St James’s Park.

Has Bowyer had his chips?

The paper reminds us, in coy terms, of Bowyer’s two most famous scandals – the mini-riot in McDonald’s in 1996, and the attack on Sarfraz Najeib five years ago.

The details are skated over but the point is made: Lee Bowyer is the type of bloke who could start a fight in an empty house – especially if he wanted a hamburger at the time.

Having established that Bowyer has a short fuse, the Star then reveals the cause of the latest explosion – a blonde bombshell called Kathleen Baker.

Kathleen is the “posh model” who was Bowyer’s fiancée until she dumped him last week, and “a source close to Bowyer” reckons that this shock caused him to lose it on Saturday.

Kieron Dyer – who played the role of Bowyer’s punchbag – appears to be unconnected to the break-up. His misfortune, according to the source, was “to be at the wrong place at the wrong time”.

In Dyer’s case, being in the wrong place at the wrong time normally means being in a hotel room in London while a training session is underway in Newcastle.

This time, it meant being on the same pitch as an increasingly frustrated and angry Bowyer.

Gorgeous Kathleen is quoted as describing Bowyer as “an angel”.

Catholics should pray that he’s not typical of the standards of hospitality at their late father’s new residence.’

Posted: 4th, April 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink