Anorak News | On Messenger

On Messenger

by | 5th, May 2005

‘THROUGHOUT this uneventful and dull election campaign, we, like you, have been asking the key question that no wannabe leader wanted to face: where’s Kerry Katona?

Tony’s women

We’ve looked, but we have yet to see any sign of the nation’s favourite celebrity mum.

Thank God then for Melinda Messenger, who is keen to tell us how great Tony Blair is for hard-working families.

Here’s the pneumatic model providing something of the double-whammy for Tony and his team.

Worthy as Melinda is, it’s a far cry from 1997, when the likes of musicians Peter Gabriel, Mick Hucknall, Damon Albarn and Noel Gallagher enthused about the new Labour project.

Gallagher still backs Tone, but it’s less because he wants him in and more because he wants the Conservatives out. If the Tories get in, says Gallagher on MTV, ”Phil Collins is threatening to come back and live here. And let’s face it, none of us want that.”

He’s right. While Thatcher shaped the Eighties, Collins provided the soundtrack. (During the miners’ strike, police and pickets alike were whipped into a state of frenzy by Sussudio being played on loop over local Yorkshire radio.)

But the Oasis front man’s voice is not seen as being as influential as it once was.

Indeed, pretty much the only celebrity we’ve seen on party political broadcasts this time round is Alan Sugar, the Gerald Ratner of the electronics game, telling us how to vote Labour.

While something of a prize scalp for Labour – Sugar backed the Tories under Thatcher – Sugar’s patronage hardly woos the youth vote.

Indeed, we are still trying to figure out what demographic Sugar was intended to appeal to. Multi-millionaires who made a mint under the Tories? Men with beards called Alan? Women with beards called Alan?

The election campaign was as bland and colourless as the protagonists. If only Katona had got the call. If only she’d nailed her colours to a mast.

If only she’d have dyed her hair…’

Posted: 5th, May 2005 | In: Celebrities Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink