Anorak News | A Star Is Dated

A Star Is Dated

by | 10th, June 2005

‘ASHTON Kutcher. Who he?

Ashton and a friend

Why, he’s an actor, of course. He once went to school with lots of kids. He’s got brown hair…with a fringe.

He’s white. Looks quite tall in pictures. Has a suit with a pinstripe. Two lips on his face. Below his nose. Above his chin. Oh, that chin…

Oh, crap! It’s just no good. It’s impossible to talk about Kutcher without mentioning his ladyfriend, the actress Demi Moore.

But is this right, let alone fair? “Do you feel your high-profile relationships have upped your profile in any ways?” asks OK!.

Kutcher: “I really don’t think that it’s the different women that I’ve dated that have put me in the spotlight.”

Course not. “But you must admit that dating Demi has made you more of a household name?” Surprisingly, Kutcher dignified that ludicrous question with an answer. “You know what,” says he, “I’m really happy right now.”

You tell ‘em, Kutch. Don’t pull the punches. As if you needed a world-famous actress like Demi to give you a leg up and over the wall separating the steaming cesspit of semi-talented actors/mod-els/singers etc. from fame’s rich pastures. Pah!

As if anyone could have held you back. What with that chin…’

Posted: 10th, June 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink